Comments on: An Old Guy Reflects on Changing Dad Roles

By: Tim Berry

Tim Berry — Fri, 27 Jun 2008 05:21:33 +0000

Thanks Matthew, Drea and Oliver for the comments.

Oliver, the question of the hour, the benefits to the father, that's a key question, but hard to answer without behind what my grown-up kids would call "cheesy." And hard to answer means its a better question, more important, not less.

I think it's about more understanding of and deeper and tighter connection with your own children. Raising your children is probably the most important thing you do, the real legacy of humanity. Works notwithstanding, what you really pass on as you live is the love you leave behind you.

Or something like that; it's hard to blog about this stuff, it's too close to the core. But I didn't want to leave that question unanswered. Tim

By: Drea

Drea — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 20:23:32 +0000

Tim,

Thanks for the insightful post. I was one of the kids who grew up when the earliest parenting model you described was still intact. I never quite understood why my dad was constantly working. In fact, he was so busy that I never got to know him until he retired. Now that he has some time, we're forging a brand new relationship. I think that missing out on getting to know one another earlier in life was the biggest cost of the one-parent model. IMHO, it's also the biggest potential benefit of the two-parent model.

Drea

By: Matthew Scott

Matthew Scott — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 02:15:13 +0000

Tim,

One of my favorite posts by you.

I really respect your honesty.

By: Oliver Bendzsa

Oliver Bendzsa — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 14:00:31 +0000

Thanks for the personal post Tim. I'd like to hear more about what you see as the benefits you mentioned above are for the father.

Also, while this was a personal post, I think that there is an important link to business and planning.

There is an excellent book on the changing nature of families in (North) America by Robert Boutilier: Targeting Families: Marketing to and Through the New Family. Boutilier outlines how the traditional family with the bread-winner father and the stay-at-home mother is now a demographic minority. Neo-traditional families with multiple bread-winners are a fast growing segment.

That's why it amazes me that so many business and social structures are still organized to serve the needs of a shrinking population. Frankly its not enough just to put baby change stations in the men's room, if you take my meaning.

I hope you continue to pursue this thread and wait to read the next post on the subject.